The Magnificent Star Wars
by Thedude3445
Summary: A reimagining of Star Wars with the template of Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece, "Seven Samurai". Seven warriors set out to destroy the Mandalorian Pirates that have been attacking several major colonies.
1. Chapter 1

_[20th Century Fox theme and logo]_

_[Lucasfilm logo]_

_A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…_

_[The starry sky appears in the background, but the opening crawl never begins.]_

_[Suddenly, we shift to a man sitting in a comfortable chair in a dark room.]_

_[This is SIO BIBBLE, a mysterious old man, an esteemed historian for the GALACTIC ALLIANCE. He is of no relation to the man of the same name from Naboo, of course. But he is no ordinary historian; he studies the 5th dimension; alternate universes, where even one decision can radically change the entire fate of the Galaxy.]_

**SIO BIBBLE: Our Galaxy's foundation dates back tens of thousands of years, when our alien oppressors died off, and we gained the abilities of hyperspace travel, allowing us to traverse the stars at speeds much faster than light, and allowing the many forms of sentient to mingle with each other. But imagine a land where the oppressors' technology was never inherited, because they never existed. Imagine if hyperspace technology was not available until each species developed it on its own. What would such a Galaxy be like? I have uncovered a universe just like it, and it is magnificent. According to it, life in our Galaxy would be something like this…**

A Star Destroyer passed overhead. It was not a combat vessel- merely a starfighter carrier, but a sight to behold nonetheless, for the Alderaanians at least. Any sign of troops returning home to the colonies was a grand one; it meant loved ones coming back, and it could have meant that the war between the Humans and the Duros was dying down, in which case peace could return to humanity! Bail watched out the window as his citizens gathered and cheered at the cruiser, which was beginning to land near the parade of people and probably about to launch its stunt ships. He secretly hoped that all troops were returning to their homes, no matter if it was due to peace, victory, or even retreat, but it was a far-fetched idea, as President Valorum and the United States **{The global government of Coruscant, much like the Galactic Alliance is to our Galaxy, except just over Humanity. –Ed. Bibble}** leaders seemed to have no intention of ending this war until they took every single planet that the Duros held. But everyone can dream…

Boom.

All went silent as a shockwave ripped through the city and obliterated all in its path. The mayor of Alderaan fell to the ground, and could only gaze at the spinning floor, a sharp ringing noise piercing his ears. Moments passed, but they felt like hours to him. The air grew more and more noxious, and all Bail could do was close his eyes and pass…. out…

HOLONET NEWS NETWORK- COLONIAL EDITION- Reporting Live at Alderaan's capital city, Skywalker Ranch, on November 2nd, 361, at 7:07 AM. This is Aayla Secura, field reporter for CHNN. Just twelve hours ago, Mandalorian Terrorists set off a Star Destroyer ((Carrier Class- Model Year 357, ID #4131025612)) that was filled to the brim with thousands of explosive proton bombs right in the middle of the city. As you can see from behind me, the damage is severe; not a single building is left standing, not even the City Hall. Mayor Antilles's status is unconfirmed, but he is thought to have been killed, as several unidentified bodies have been retrieved from the City Hall. A list of confirmed dead and injured is on the main page. ((LINK)) Nothing is certain yet, but more details of this disaster will be unveiled as time goes on. Ciao.

Now Bail Antilles was awake, safely hidden in his underground bunker. He sighed as he viewed images of the city-wide carnage, feeling beyond hopeless. These pirates called Mandalorians had been attacking the Northern colonies for years now, and had even established their own faux-government, but Alderaan was a Central Colony; one of Humanity's 13 most important planets! The United Coruscanti government **{the main Superpower state on Coruscant; a mega-sized confederation that had twice as many settlements on alien worlds than all other nations combined. –Ed. Bibble}** could never stand for this! But they would, Bail had a feeling.

The Human-Duros War had been fiercely fought for forever, it seemed like; about half a century. It started in 313, and would probably continue for many more. The United Coruscanti Militia wouldn't devote any large number of troops to anything other than the war effort, and the Mandalorian Pirates took advantage of that. Now the Middle Colonies were feeling the effects of the long drawn-out conflict, and it could easily reach Coruscant itself in a decade or less.

"Sir?" Aide Helix asked. "Mayor Antilles. According to the news broadcasts, the entire populous believes… Well, that you're dead. Sir. Umm, if it's alright with you, I would very much like to announce that the reports of your deaths were, umm, greatly exaggerated. Then, uh, we could probably get straight to the rebuilding process, so that this crisis-"

"No," The Alderaanian mayor interrupted. "From now on, I AM dead."

Helix was obviously baffled and distraught by this declaration, and took several moments before he was able to stutter out, "B-But… Sir! I… What? Uh… Sir… I… I… I will not assist you in any suicidal halluc-"

Once again, Bail interrupted, saying, "No, I need to be considered dead for what I am about to do. You can be Mayor from now on."

The Aide reluctantly asked the all-important question: "Umm… If… I…. Uh… Dare I ask…? But… What, uh, what are you about to… do? Sir." There was no reply. Silence filled the bunker. Finally, Bail spoke.

"I'm going to gather an army," he replied. "and we're going to destroy the Mandalorians, once and for all."


	2. Chapter 2

In the days following the Mandalorian pirates' attack on Alderaan, former mayor Bail Antilles left for Ord Cantrell, a southern colony deep in the Outer Rim Territories, adopting a pseudonym of a John Shepard, an out-of-luck mercenary. While it was unknown why he travelled there at the time, as this was a desolate ghost planet, **{The planet used to be a rich resort planet due to a gold rush, but once the mines ran dry around 304, most everyone absconded away to other Ord planets in hopes of striking it rich. –Ed. Bibble} **the reason soon became obvious.

Bail stepped into the bar. It was a mix of several species; Humans, Duros, and Twi'leks alike; even a long-necked grey alien that he couldn't recognize. Quite the place. Was this the future, Bail wondered? A galaxy where all species would mix together? A future like that sounded far too distant for him to think about for more than a moment. Besides, he was on a mission.

Sitting at the table was a mid-sized, balding man that was alone with half a dozen glasses of blue tequila. **{Captain Picard certainly bears some resemblance to this mysterious man. Though that man is in a completely different universe from ours, so many of you will not get my joke… Carrying on… -Ed. Bibble}** Bail instantly recognized him and sat down in a chair across from him.

"Name's John Shepard." Said Bail.

"Yeah, really?"

"Mhm. Just a Merc looking for good business."

"Yeah, really. Huh."

"What are you doing out here in the Outer Rim?"

"Hmm. Yeah… Really? _Really_?"

The balding man pulled out his gun, the barrel up against Bail's right temple. Responding with amazing reflexes, Bail smacked the gun out of his hand. Both of them threw punches at each other, and their hands collided with a glorious smack, causing both to recoil backwards. Spectators began forming a circle around the table where the two battled each other at lightning speeds.

After several seconds of straight punches, they disconnected and ceased their direct combat. While the bald man picked up a chair, Bail attempted a roundhouse kick to the gut. He missed, and twirled down onto the cold ground with a pathetic thud, without the need for throwing chairs or anything. Spectators became furious at the apparent anticlimax and immediately began dispersing.

"Huh, really," Said the bald man. "Gettin' rusty." He held out a hand to Bail, and lifted him back up. "Guess being a mayor has softened ya up, wuss."

"Well at least I don't have an addiction to violence like you do," replied Antilles, brushing the dust from the floor off of his clothes.

The bald man cocked a brow up. "What the hell kind of comeback was that?" he jokingly asked, sporting a wide grin.

"Give me a chance, c'mon!" Bail laughed and shook the bald man's hand. "So Gasgano, what _are_ you doing out here?"

Gasgano, the bald man, put his hand behind his head and rubbed his neck, saying, "Meh, just looking for a couple fights, 'cuz life on Coruscant got hella boring real fast.. Guess you're right about me, huh?"

Their happy reunion lasted a few moments more, but their smiles both quickly faded, and they got down to business. Gasgano looked into Bail's eyes with a piercing gaze. He understood the circumstances of John Shepard's visit very clearly.

"Why me?" He asked. Gasgano was never one for beating around the proverbial bush, especially not in times like these. "I don't wanna be a part of this, and you know that. My merc days are long over."

"This is not just a merc mission," said Bail. "The entire United States could be at risk here, and you know _that_. I need a team to defeat these Mandalorians, Gasgano, and you're the best."

"I'm not the best anymore. I'm gettin' old, just like you."

"It's not just your fighting skills I need, you know."

"What else do I got? Not any charmin' good looks, anymore."

"I need your help forming this team; I have no idea where to look."

"And I _do_?"

Some bar-goers that had been watching their previous duel had exited the bar during the fight to contact authorities. They would need to hurry up this conversation. Fast.

"Yeah. Otherwise you wouldn't be out here searching already, before I even got here."

"You know me too well, Bail." Gasgano always went out of his way to

"It's hard being a "roughneck" and being a nice person, right? It's hard and nobody understands?"

"Anyway, yes I have found somebody, I was just waitin' for ya to ask."

"Who is it?"

"A woman named Shaak Ti. An amazing warrior. Heard she uses a sword instead of a gun."

"A sword? Well, that's interesting. She a Twi'lek?" **{Twi'leks are a species of humans that adapted to have2 brain stems coming out from the back of their heads like a twintail haircut on a little girl. Some wrap their stems around their necks, though usually males are the only ones to do this. Besides that, they're pretty much human. Of course we should all know this, because in our universe they are the most populous sentient species! –Ed. Bibble}**

"Nah, she's human. Well, technic'lly. She's pretty much savage, goin' around and killin' anyone she doesn't like. But she does it well."

"Are… you sure about this?"

"Yeah, don't worry, she only offs scum. Well mostly. But she'll be a good teammate." Gasgano paused. "…Prob'lly." Bail had a very bad feeling about this, but he went along with his friend's assumption that she would be a good addition to the team.

Gasgano continued. "Anyway, she's near Bespin right now, at least from what I've been hearin'. We gotta leave quickly though, she never stays anywhere too long."

Bail nodded his head in agreement, but noticed two or three policemen walking into the bar. One of them shouted at them, trying to get them to surrender without a fight. They completely misunderstood their friendly duel, but oh well… Hurtling a chair at the policemen, Gasgano made a run for it, with Bail quickly tagging behind. This was going to be quite an adventure, he could already tell that much.


	3. Chapter 3

HOLONET NEWS NETWORK- COLONIAL EDITION- REPORT- November 5th, 361, at 12:46 PM: Former Mayor Bail Antilles ((Born April 13, 310 in Serbiie **{one of the many states of the United Coruscanti. –Ed. Bibble}**)) has been confirmed to have been killed by the disaster on November 1st, by his aide, Helix Haust ((Born June 12, 325 on Alderaan)), who has now taken the mantle as the Mayor of Alderaan. In his press release, just 46 minutes ago, he stated that cleanup efforts were to begin immediately, and that any Mandalorians on the planet, pirates or not, are to be arrested on-sight, until this crisis is resolved. This comes as a shock to the thousands of Mandalorians that are living on Alderaan; they make up almost 12 percent of the population of this colony, and many believe that this declaration is bigotry, as they believe Mayor Haust is judging their entire race by just a few pirates. No word from the United States government on this action as of yet. We will update you as we get more details. Again, a list of confirmed dead and injured is on the main page. ((LINK)) Also, please donate to the Alderaan Disaster Relief fund ((LINK)). Just 100 credits can help a family in need that has been devastated by this event.

WAR NEWS

HOLONET NEWS NEWTWORK-WAR NEWS- Reporting live from Naalol, November 5th, at 2:07 PM, this is Senior Executive Reporter Even Piell. The United States has just scored a decisive victory over the Duros, driving the 5th Fleet back into the Outer Rim! Because of this battle, Humanity has now gained 6 more systems, including the farm-planet Taanab; celebrations will take place in Tyson City **{The capital city of the entire United Coruscanti} **this evening at 7:00 PM; make sure to bring your pocketbook, because Main Street's going to be HOT with surplus items tonight! A list of sales in Tyson City tonight can be found here. ((LINK)) This is Even Piell, signing off.

Boom.

Hyperspace travel was always an annoyance to Bail; it made him nauseous and the initial blast of speed always gave him a headache. He loved how light speed travel was able to advance civilization by, well, light years, but would it have hurt anyone to at least attempt to make it work more smoothly? It has been around for what, like eighty years! Instead, scientists just try to make each new version go faster and faster by miniscule amounts, like being able to go between Coruscant and Ralltiir twenty seconds faster. That was good, but if Bail promised himself that he would not experience hyperspace sickness one more time after this whole ordeal. Not one.

"It's a'right, Bail," exclaimed Gasgano. "We're only gonna be in hyperspace for a couple hours!"

"I know, I know," Bail replied.

Gasgano shot back with a sharp "HA! No ya don't! Ya've acted like this every single time we've ever gone inta hyperspace tagether!"

Yep, he was right. But still… His complaints were completely valid and he had no reason to have to feel like throwing up every time he blasted off!

Boom.

The ship suddenly jutted out of hyperspace. Bail swore; they were caught in gravity well {**n our universe, these are relatively modern devices; they keep a gravitational pull on anything within a certain radius so it becomes impossible to make the jump back into hyperspace, at least until the gravity well is destroyed or turned off. –Ed. Bibble}** Surrounding them were several gigantic space vessels, each with the insignia of the Duros Navy. This was not good, not one little bit. These guys were the same ones defeated this morning, and they were probably looking for some hardcore revenge.

"Well, at least we're in the right system," Gasgano said. The only way he was able to keep from freaking out in tense situations as these was through optimism and through humor, usually the most deadpan kind. His eyes fretted around like a nervous Kowakian lizard monkey, analyzing for any gap or opening in the fleet's alignment. **{Luckily for them, Tractor beams are not commonplace in the Duros Navy, or at least not yet. Hehehe… -Ed. Bibble}**

Bail looked too, and he saw one- just one. But it was directly in the line of fire of three of the twelve ships, and far too risky. Just crazy enough to work, he guessed. He told Gasgano about their one lucky shot.

"Gasgano," Bail shouted. "Look, right over there. If you jet it out right now, you could probably make it!"

"Like hell I could" was the only reply he got from his bald bud. But he jetted it out anyway.

Boom.

The ship burst into flames and was blasted into oblivion.

**{This isn't the end, by the way. What kind of adventure story would this be if our heroes died before gathering all seven members of the team? -Ed. Bibble}**


End file.
